My eating schedule and my sleeping schedule are both completely off the train tracks. 

But that’s alright. 

I’m forming some good habits though in terms of other things, I think.

I have never been interested in art education. I guess I thought about it, but it didn’t really appeal to me because I felt that I would be settling. Why spend all of this money for a degree and end up teaching kids to fingerpaint? But I think about it now, and it might not be a bad thing to do. Lately, I’ve been stumped as to what I should do career wise. It’s not a bad stump though. I thought I wanted to do one thing but now I’m not so sure and so I’m back to square one. But I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. It kind of feels good to rethink and process even though I can’t really pinpoint what will happen in the future. I want to be a freelance illustrator. Hands down. But I’m not an idiot. And I think about it, and working for a company doesn’t appeal to me for some reason. But of course, I’ve never tried it so, really, what would I know. But, overall, I really just want to help people. I don’t want to do something just for my own pleasure, but to share the knowledge and the pretty ponies with other people, eh! Hmm. I really liked Emily Pilloton’s presentation at Penny Stamps with how she found some art organization to bring out the best in kids who didn’t feel so good about themselves. It would be nice to do something more simple? That isn’t the best word, but something more homey and grounded. I can’t explain it. So maybe to get a taste of what teaching would be like, I hope I’m able to take the Detroit Connections course next year. Orrrrr, maybe I can just find any job after college and make art in my free time and just hope to get enough clients to finally quit my rinky dink job and be a full time freelance illustrator. Ohohoho, I don’t know.

I feel so relaxed. Yay.