there are two currents fighting
a tide, as one
carrying me to a shoreless surface
swelling like a panicked and stricken lung
the water is light,
but the stir, a mighty load
one on top, one beneath
they sandwich my heart in between,
and cling and pull past my feet
For the past two days, I’ve been waking up at six to do work. There is something nice about waking up with the birds and the sun and walking around downtown with the early commuters and delivery trucks. I hope this stays a habit.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Photographer Ken Griffiths for The Sunday Times (1973) (via)
makes me love this song all over again
Lust for Life on We Heart It.Perfect mornings like this
my fav every time
i’ve had so many fluids today, my pee looks like filtered water. i’ve peed like seventy times more than i’ve blinked. running today wasn’t a mistake even though the roads were ice. i’d rather just pay the 50 bucks and leave friday. i’m getting nothing done. but it’s also so much warmer here. i fear waking up in that cold room. waking up in the winter is so fucking miserable. i forgot i have a roll of film in my pentax under my bed. they’re all of ian. they’re probably frozen. i hope the cold temperature doesn’t affect film exposure. i’m starting to regret not taking a gap year, but then i remind myself that i’m closer to finishing than ever before. i’m excited to see what god has in store for me. i’m excited to grow as an artist. i don’t think i could ever be a social worker. go to bed.
a little update on life:
i am only taking 15 credits, but that hasn’t stopped me from keeping myself busy. i am truly content with how life is no matter how stressed and funky things have been lately. for the first time since i’ve started college, it feels like i’m learning to breathe and work with my hands in a way that is so gratifying. i enjoy making for the sake of making. for the sake of keeping idle hands busy and providing commentary to things so beautiful that i don’t understand.
i think it’ll be nice to look back on this and see what i was doing at the golden age of 20.
my goal is to bring my dying succulent back to life. can this be the one time one of plants doesn’t die?
i want to learn to love myself. not because i think i’m cool or because of my winning personality—both of which are lacking—but because i was made by a god whose name is love.